You have heard of IQ, but have you ever heard of EQ? EQ is your emotional intelligence, this is your ability to understand, use, and manage your emotions in a healthy way. When your emotional intelligence is high, you are able to communicate effectively with others, empathize, and learn ways to relieve stress and overcome obstacles in your life.
To give you an example, someone with high EQ would be able to navigate through certain situations where tension may arise, they understand social cues and typically have a very positive way of thinking. People that are in touch with this will have a better identity of themselves and the world around them.
Those with low EQ will usually have a hard time understanding others and understanding their own emotions. Someone with low EQ struggles with confidence, self-awareness, and self-regulation.
Now, don’t think you are doomed if you feel like you relate more with a low EQ type of personality. There are ways to raise your EQ. The first thing to do is self-reflect, if you don’t know where to start with this, try these prompts and asking yourself these questions.
https://advice.theshineapp.com/articles/32-journal-prompts-for-self-reflection-and-self-care/
Many times we can build this “confidence” that is built on a shaky foundation, as a way of protecting ourselves. We don’t realize how damaging this can actually be. This can be a symptom of lacking self-awareness.
So what happens when you lack self-awareness?
You may have some experiences you’ve been through either in childhood or throughout your adult life that impacted you and left a mark on your memory that you may not even realize. When this happens, our subconscious stores these kinds of interactions, and if we notice a similar situation or anticipate something similar to happen, our brain pulls that stored memory out and we unconsciously react to it. Thus causing us to a.) be unaware of what is going on, b.) build fake confidence as a shield to the vulnerability we are feeling.
This can trickle into your social skills and your internal and external reactions.
Building true self-confidence and your emotional intelligence takes work, but it is work that will change your life and change the way you think and see the world.
First, become self-aware
Be mindful of the thoughts you have and if there are any negative patterns you tend to fall into. Your thoughts are the first step to getting out of your way and truly growing. Recognize the process you subconsciously take when a bad thought comes to mind; do you hold on to it and allow it to take over or do you let it pass, like a train in the night? This will allow you to think about what your motivations and intentions are and understand your triggers and how to react to them.
Next, learn how to self-regulate
After you self-reflect and work on your self-awareness, you learn how to self-regulate and think before you act. You analyze rather than react. Self-regulating teaches you how to control your impulses and learn healthy coping skills when adversity or negativity arises.
Lastly, improve your social skills
People with high EQ have a great leadership personality, they are able to influence people in a positive way just by being themselves. Observe how you interact with others when you are in a social setting or even talking to a friend. Observe what you’re thinking, are you active listening or just existing? Practice having empathy and understanding those around you. Observe your mannerisms and what things you are telling yourself while you’re around others.
The most important thing to build true self-confidence is to break down the preconceived thoughts you have of yourself and take a realistic look in the mirror. Don’t be afraid of what you may see, that is the first step to growth and change. Emotional Intelligence is a skill that will take you far in life and something that will benefit your mental wellbeing, your relationships, your career, and how you see the world.
I leave you with these tools, now go use them.
Let’s Book a Session!